When is it time to end your marriage and get a divorce?

Every marriage hits a rough patch now and then. Maybe one or both of you lost a job, resulting in household money woes. The two of you engage in non-stop bickering about how to discipline your kids. You loathe your wife’s or husband’s family so much that just thinking about friendly get-togethers makes you squirm.

These squabbles and issues usually get resolved and if not, you probably learned to tolerate them long ago.

But what happens when the fights outnumber the good times? What do you do when the love you both shared becomes so threadbare that it’s apparently beyond fixing?

Those are tough questions to confront. No one likes to contemplate the end of a marriage that was supposed to last a lifetime. When there are children involved, that makes the situation even more painful. Still, sometimes the best – if not the only – thing to do is get divorced and start your life over again on a solo basis.

There are warning signs of trouble to look out for that will give you clues about whether you should end your marriage. You might want to seek couples therapy before throwing in the towel for good. Whatever you decide, however, watch out for these hints of irreconcilable discord.

How to tell if your marriage is over and you should get divorced

• Your spouse is addicted to drugs or an activity like gambling and declines to seek help.

• You and/or the kids are being abused physically or emotionally. In this case, your and your children’s safety must come first. Get immediate help if you are in a dangerous situation.

• Your husband or wife is in an adulterous relationship and won’t end it.

• The two of you can’t communicate anymore.

• You have no financial autonomy.

• There are physical or emotional intimacy issues that aren’t getting resolved.

Your heart and intuition will tell you when the relationship is over. Getting permanently disentangled from your partner can be complicated, so think about consulting an attorney in Virginia for advice.